liquidjill

A few weeks ago my best friend Kel visited. It was great fun – lots of delicious food and tea and conversation, all par for the course with Kelly. During one of our lengthy discussions she revealed one of New York’s mysteries that I hadn’t yet really addressed. (travesty!!)

Somehow though, I have been working around it since I’ve been here.

She asked me plainly, “Jill, where the heck do people go to the bathroom in this city?”.

I thought about it for a moment and had to nod, deep in thought. It was a viable question, where do New Yorkers go to the bathroom anyway?

Most places have a customer only rule and when you spend a day exploring say, the east village with a friend or even when you’re simply out shopping at small stores a restroom can be a rare find.

So I set it upon myself to come up with some useful workarounds for this, which is probably a pretty universal issue amongst locals and tourists alike. I mean we do all have to pee at some point right? Here’s some options I’ve come up with.

1. Hotels. Hotels almost always have a lobby bathroom, or if not then one can be found in their restaurant, which if you’re in Manhattan most of them will have. Just waltz in with confidence and you should never have a problem, at least I haven’t… yet. It’s also good to keep in mind that familiarizing yourself with specific hotels helps, as the personnel aren’t going to remember you, but it makes the whole situation easier if you can dart in and out as needed.
2. Department Stores. This was an obvious one as I’ve used the bathroom at numerous department stores in various cities over the years and as long as they’re open, its fair game and usually pretty clean too.
3. Bars. This is a little less fun and something I use late light and/or last resort. Depending on the neighborhood they can be kind of icky and since you probably aren’t imbibing at that moment, you’ll notice it a whole lot more. This is also a dart in and out kind of maneuver which, if not executed with some degree of finesse, can sometimes result in a failed attempt. Finesse can be sticky in a dark smelly bar filled with locals trying to hit on you. The next bar is less than a block away though I assure you. And I’ve never failed twice in a row.

Stay away from the Starbucks. I’ve been told that they can work pretty well but in my experience they tend to be disgusting -  think gas station on the Jersey turnpike caliper of icky, and the lines can be insane. I checked one out a few days ago and after a peek at the line and the type of people standing in it (big hairy construction worker with a sweating problem among the lot) I opted to move on. Instead I slipped into a Radisson a half a block away where there was an attendant who handed me a towel. Double win.

Also – little nail joints tend to keep their bathrooms absolutely gross, which makes me worry about getting my nails done there as well, so steer clear.

All in all it isn’t too arduous a task, but a completely necessary one. My only other suggestion on this front would be to use any available bathroom when you do have access to one, even if you don’t really think you need it. Like after lunch, right before leaving work and of course, before leaving the coffee/tea/beer shop. You’ll be happy you did, I mean It’s so much easier to enjoy your day when you aren’t doing the little dance we all know so well, right?

Any other suggestions? Bring em on!

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